Are you holding onto something that no longer serves you? I did too – until I realized it was draining my happiness.
I remember staying in a negative workplace for over a year before I decided my happiness and mental health had to come first. I was drained, unmotivated, and dreaded walking through the door.
We often hold onto things that drain our energy, stopping or slowing our progress. Recognizing what no longer serves us is the first step—then, we must take action.
How do you know it may be time to let go? It is generally something you consistently do (habit for example) or believe that starts to cause you unhappiness, stress, fear, anxiety, etc. For me, the sign was that I was so emotionally drained when it came to my workplace, that I did not want to walk through the door. For others it is about holding on to fears, guilt or limiting beliefs of letting go. It is also time to let go if you feel your values or goals are no longer aligned. My workplace did not align with my values of collaboration and respect, so I knew it was up to me to do something about it.
There are many things that you may need to release or let go of, in order to be happier. It could be negative thoughts or limiting beliefs. Perhaps you need to recognize that you are overworked or in a procrastination mode because you no longer care. Perhaps you are someone who wants perfection or the need to control everything. These are things we may need to uncover and work at letting go of in order to find more happiness in our life.
How do you let go? In my situation, I recognized that I could not go in the doors anymore. I did not want to be in an environment where us employees were more like numbers then people with ideas. I let go by resigning from my role. I do not suggest you do this without another job, if you are financially strained or need a job on a continual basis. I was lucky that when I did resign without another job, that a job came up very quickly for me where I was respected and valued.
Ensure you recognize or acknowledge how holding on to whatever it is you need to let go of, is affecting your mental health or your well-being. This allows you to then determine if this is a limited belief, something that you are just comfortable with, etc. When we know what the cause of how holding on to something holds us back and recognize the impact of it, we can then start to challenge it.
You can start with challenging the negative thoughts or even asking yourself different questions. For example, if you ask yourself, “What if I leave this job and the next one is just as bad?”, try reframing it to, “What if I leave this job and the next one is the perfect fit for my values?” Doing a bit of reframing like this, allows us to think differently about our situation and we can develop ideas and solutions to get where we may need to go. Does this mean the next job is the perfect one? It may or may not be, but holding on to something that is making you unhappy because you fear the same thing will happen again, may cause you to stay in the same unhappy situation you are already in.
Letting go is something that is very difficult for most people. It may mean developing different habits, changes in lifestyle, or moving to new jobs, etc. For example, I had to dramatically change my diet for my pain (on the advice of my doctor). It meant developing different eating habits. If this is difficult for you, like it was for me, then take the baby steps to get there. For food, I simply removed and replaced one item or category at a time rather than going cold turkey. If it is your job, then you could start with reaching out to a career coach to help guide you through the process, before leaving your job. Remember too, that accountability or support is a key driver for most people who are making major changes that can lead to a happier life, so find the support you need.
Once we take the leap and start to make changes that help us let go and move forward, we will feel better, perhaps have less stress, be more confident, have better mental health and well-being, to even have more resilience the next time change comes our way.
Remember, letting go is sometimes an act of self-care. It is the next step on your own path and creates new beginnings.
Think about one thing that is holding you back?
Why does it hold you back?
What positive reframing can you do?
What step will you take to create more happiness in your life?
If you are struggling to take that first step, we can help. Reach out to us for a free consult here: https://twinlifecoaching.ca/contact-us
Written by: Tara Lehman
Picture from Microsoft Stock Images
(Note: For any change that requires or should be discussed with your medical professional, please always reach out to them first.)
