Misconception 1 – You, as a leader, need to have all the answers.
Misconception 2 – Listening isn’t really a good leadership tool.
Misconception 3 – Hearing what someone said, and actively listening are the same thing.
Did any of these resonate with you, or a leader you know? I am here to let you know that when we listen and do it actively, we can hear other solutions that may be better than the answers we have. Listening can mean your company or team becomes innovative leading to higher revenue. And just because you hear something, does not mean you listened to it and truly appreciated what was said, even if you disagreed.
What is the difference between hearing something and truly listening? Hearing something is very surface level by recognizing the words we heard, but not necessarily the actual message. Active listening is trying to truly understand what is being said without thinking about other stuff, or how we are going to respond. Leaders who shift from hearing to active listening will see a lot of benefits.
Actively listening is a key leadership tool that all leaders need to continually develop. It helps us build trust with our teams, as they feel heard and valued – which can lead to creativity too. Truly listening to others also helps us reduce misunderstandings and conflicts because we are giving the person or the people talking 100% of our focus and attention. When interruptions are present and we don’t give our full attention, this can lead to us hearing parts of conversations, which absolutely can lead to miscommunication in our responses or to others.
It is very common for leaders to want to jump in and provide solutions or responses when we are busy or are pre-occupied with our own thoughts or workloads. However, this multitasking does not work when you are truly listening. Try this: Have someone tell you all about their weekend for 5 mins, while you answer 6 text messages, answer your phone 5 times, and have 4 interruptions at your door or workspace. Can you truly listen about the persons weekend? No. Get rid of the distractions.
How can you build that active listening muscle? Get rid of the distractions by putting your phone on silent, close that door, close your email, put down that pen, and look at the person talking by making eye contact. When thoughts about other things come into your mind, refocus on the speaker. Remember, if you are interrupting them, you are not actively listening…but instead are listening to respond. You need to listen to the other person before coming up with your reaction or response. They are what is important in that moment.
If you are not quite sure you understand the speaker, or your thoughts got in your way, paraphrase what you heard to ensure you understood. A simple question like, “So what I am hearing you saying is XXX, is that correct?”
Asking questions when having a discussion also helps you communicate to understand and to be understood. After you have clarified what they are looking for, you can ask questions as well, that are based on what you said. For example, if you provide a solution to a problem, you could say, “What do you like about the solution we just talked about?”. This also allows you to see if they heard your solution and helps them feel valued and trusted too.
Listening can be transformative in leadership. It helps employees feel valued, trusted and heard. It can create a great culture of respect for each other, trust and open communication, which can strengthen collaboration, innovation, and problem-solving. When we listen to understand, as leaders, we may now be picking up aspects of the conversation we may have missed before – which could be something vital to our decisions, solutions, or for the employee.
Remember, actively listening is a muscle that needs worked every single day. Never stop practicing and catching yourself. Try this – spend a full day focusing and listening more than you are talking. What did you learn?
Leaders don’t have to have all the answers or be the loudest voice. Having your listening skills polished and worked on daily means you can become a better leader every day.
Written by: Tara Lehman
PS: Did you know in our Rise To Leadership program we have a module called Let’s Talk? It is all about communication, including active listening. You can learn more about all the modules and upcoming dates at Rise To Leadership | Amplifying Leadership
(Picture from Microsoft Stock Images)
