Why EVERYONE Needs a Life Coach

Written by Barb Chapman and Tara Lehman of Twin Life Coaching & Business Services March 2018

Twin Life Coaches Tara Barb

You have probably heard the words Life Coach, but what is it and why do you need one?   Life Coaching is always about YOU the client.  As Life Coaches we are there to help you find your way, overcome struggles, meet goals, overcome challenges or help you to get unstuck.  Even if you are happy and feel all is good, then maybe you want to take on a new challenge or push yourself to a new level.  Whatever the case may be, Life Coaches can get you there.  Think of us as your cheerleaders, resource gurus and life’s personal trainer!

How do we work with you?  We work with you on moving forward, looking into your future, helping you stay accountable.  We can use or provide goal setting, resources, tools, cognitive behaviour therapy, visualization, mindfulness and may other options to keep you moving in the direction you want to move.  We ask you deep questions, so you gain an understanding of where you want to go.  We will never force you to do anything or provide you with your answers.  Everything you do is for you, by you.  We keep you motivated, moving forward and help you achieve your goals.

Why do people see us?  There are a lot of examples, but common examples can include: stress, depression, getting over a life event (ie separation or divorce, new baby), family issues, meeting your goals, simply providing resources, overcoming social anxiety, career changes, you feel “stuck” and don’t know what to do in your life.  We can help with so many of life’s challenges and struggles.

Most importantly, we as Life Coaches, are here for you!  We provide open, honest communication and work with anyone wanting and willing to make a change.

Contact us today to set up your 15 minutes free consult!  There is no time like now and it is never too late.

See you soon!

Barb Chapman and Tara Lehman

YOU Are Unique

Be more like your sister!  Why can’t you do what I want you to?  You need to follow in your father’s footsteps.  You should be a lawyer just like your Aunt.  Why can’t you be more like Joe or Jane?

Do this sound familiar?  We have all heard at some point in our lives that we should be someone we are not.  Why is that?  To be wealthier?  To feel secure or successful?   Or because that is what someone else wants for us?

Life is full of choices that you make, whether you realize it or not.  Every choice we make in life creates our unique path.  No one person is the same.  This is why a “one size fits all” approach to pretty much anything, including mental and physical health may not exist.   For example, for myself, I stay away from certain foods due to my skin disease, psoriasis.  However, what works for me, may make it worse for someone else.   Even with diseases, ailments and even problems we face, we are all different in how we respond to treatments, diet, exercise and even life coaching.  So why do we try so hard to be like everyone else?  Working with my life coaching clients helps them not only reach their potential, but see THEIR path in life, not someone else’s.

Every choice that we make changes who we are and what we will become in the future.   This is what makes us all unique.  Being an identical twin myself, I even can see how my sister and I are different.  We may have the same DNA and we may work together as life coaches, but we are unique in our own ways.

Being unique means, you get to make choices in life.  Everything you do is a choice you are making.   Lots of people say they are unhappy and are stuck in their job or something else.  But are you?  Are you unhappy at work?  Do you want a promotion or a raise?  Then do something about it because the likelihood of it coming to you is very low.  Waiting for the doors to open for you may be a very long, unfulfilling and even somewhat difficult one if you decide to sit and wait.

Let’s say you see a new position opens at your place of business.  You have 60% of the qualifications but you do not apply because you feel it is just not worth it, or you are afraid, or some tells you not to because someone else has more qualifications than you so what’s the point.  You decide not apply and you remain unhappy at work.  That was your choice to make.  Now, let’s say you actually applied, got an interview and then maybe even a job offer!  That choice to go for it could mean a happier and more fulfilled you.  However maybe you get the interview, but no job offer.  Does that make your choice to apply wrong?  Not necessarily.  You could take this time to ask the interviewers what you were missing, so you can choose to take some training, mentor someone, coaching or whatever else is needed so next time you are their number one choice.  Or, maybe you at least gained some valuable interview experience for the next great position that comes along.  Open that door and do it for you!

Remember, it is always important to be YOU and no one else.  If you want help with finding your own path, that is what I am here for.  If you want to remain as you are, then that is a choice you make too.

A life coaches role is to help you see what you have inside and bring out your uniqueness, so you can be the best you can be.  We are there to help you find your way, never to tell you what to do.  We make suggestions, brainstorm with you and maybe even share stories to bring out your ideas, but every choice you make will be yours.  You are not stuck on your path.  So, if you are unhappy OPEN THAT DOOR yourself and seek out a different path.  Only you can make a change.  Come see me today to learn more about yourself and how you can take your own path to a better, more fulfilled YOU!

Whatever you choose to do, make your life uniquely YOU!

Tara Lehman

Conversational Tips and Reminders

Do you argue with your partner, friend, children?  Do feel like when you have conversations that the other person is not hearing you?

Perhaps it isn’t the situation or topic you are talking about that is causing the argument but rather how you are talking to each other.  Perspective in the other person’s reactions to your comments need to be taken into consideration.  Here you will find a set of tips and reminders that should be considered when having an in-depth conversation with someone about something that you both may not agree to.  Remember that you both have your own perspectives and each should be considered and listened to whole-heartedly. This is a guide designed to support you in having an effective conversation even with the most challenging topics, while reducing the conflict that may occur during the conversation.  The processes of change are not meant to be a set of unbreakable rules, but rather a helpful set of basic conversational and relationship principles

ü  If one person brings up an issue that in some way relates to the actions and behaviours of others, both parties should make sure these comments are acknowledged and respected.  It is understood that in order to make positive change, everyone’s reactions and behaviours will need to change

ü  Everyone needs to respect the needs of each other.  Some needs may create conflict but there is always room for change and respect. Everyone should be entitled to their opinions whether you feel confident in them or not.

ü  All feedback from each other over a conflict needs to be non-aggressive and try to be as specific as possible.  The conversation should not spread to other areas of conflict.  The actual problem and only that problem should be discussed at the time of the conversation.

ü  Cooperation is key!  Understand that there are differences and always will be.

ü  Remember that in conflict situations where something is annoying you, that this is just a small part of your experience with that person.  Keep in mind this is someone you care about with an irritating issue right now, not someone you hate.

ü  When discussing your criticism with the other person, remember to remind them that you care about them, but that this action, behaviour or topic is what is annoying you at that moment, not the whole person

ü  When you do lose your temper or use harsh words, remember to apologize specifically about losing your temper.  This does not mean you are apologizing for your opinion or thoughts about the situation, just that you should have not responded in the way you did.

ü  Remember if you are having an argument with someone who is drunk, extremely tired, had a hard day at work, this person is likely going to respond negatively. If it can wait, wait to have your discussion about your frustration when the person is rested with a clear head.  This will help to have a more productive discussion.

ü  Remember that all issues brought up by the two people having the disagreement are issues these individuals have, not that one of these two people have.  They must be worked out together, the responsibility is shared.

ü  Respect one another!  This is important to work through challenges.  If you can’t respect each other’s opinions, you will have difficulty moving forward.

ü  Remember that no one is perfect and we are all wrong from time to time. Admitting it is a great start

ü  Keep in mind that if you are arguing about how something should be done; both you AND  the other person might be right.  There are often more solutions than just one so both parties may be correct.  Now you need to work together to find the best solution for your situation!

ü  Give each other time to speak without interruption.  Actively listening to the other person will help both parties understand what the other is saying.

ü  Speak clearly and calmly even if you feel frustrated.  The other person may not understand what you are saying if you are yelling, screaming, crying or talking too quickly.  “Slow and steady wins the race”

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